My husband Gary passed away on June 4, 2011.?

My husband Gary passed away on June 4, 2011. We have been married for 28 years in Aug but I have been with Gary for 30 years. We have 2 children and 5 grandchildren . He was only 50 years old I have found that I really miss him and just want someone to hold me, he was sick for little bit then I brought him home from a hospital out of state and was doing good for about a week and then he went down hill I had him home for 15 days when he passed. We had a home heath nurse coming out everyday to change the dressing on his tailbone that he got from the hospital almost 1 year ago and it had MERSA in it before he was transferred out of state to a so called better hospital the MERSA was gone but when we got home the nursing company that was coming out to help him took swab samples and sent them to a lab and the test came back with MERSA but not one from the USA it is from IRAN or someplace over there. I am sure that is was killed him and I am having a very hard time with it. If he didn't have the open sore on the tailbone in the first place he would still be with me and are kids 2 days before he died we found out that we are going to be grandparents again for the 6th time and that is really great. My question is this is it wrong for me to want someone to hold me? I don't know if I will ever be able to stop grieving my sole mate.